I'm sitting here in your playroom amongst my untidy desk & your toys/dress-up clothes sprinkled about the floor reminding me of our day together-----sinking my teeth into homemade Ginger Snap Cookie that we made together and enjoying a cup of decaf coffee while you're snuggled in bed asleep......
Sunday morning came with little feet hitting the floor, eyes spotting Daddy still at home.....jeans, tee, boots and you were ready to leave with him to go work. Although at Saturday night's dinner we had already discussed that Daddy had something important to do at the port that was too dangerous for you to accompany him with that morning......He had promised that the two of you would work at the shop later in the day. However, Sunday morning there was no coaxing....you grinned and were ready...trying to melt Daddy's heart with your energy, your smile.......but as he tried to explain....you finally let your shoulders slump...I couldn't see them but I heard the words from the morning's dark hallway...."Just leave me alone!" They weren't angry words but sharp, unexpected---slicing.
Since you were little and could speak, I have coaxed you to use your words to explain your feelings. These four little words did just that this morning. You articulated well how you felt. You couldn't tell Daddy how important going to work with him was to you. You couldn't get him to understand that the dangerous port business didn't matter. Time was of the essence. You wanted his attention and time with him NOW. My heart ached. I knew how you felt. I hurt for Daddy too because in essence his work is important in providing for our needs/wants. He wanted to take you with him. Daddy wanted to spend time with you but he was asked to work Sunday morning on a project that had fallen to the wayside when other projects took precedence.
Daddy was able to leave for work as I helped you change into something more fitting for a hot day. You ate breakfast, watched cartoons, and colored. You made Daddy a special picture too carefully writing Daddy and Sophia across the bottom---and DQ at the top as a question if you could go there with Daddy later in the day. After tidying up the kitchen and cleaning floors, the two of us took a trip to Kroger for our family's menu for the week----and for special ingredients for the cookies you requested. You helped Mommy shop and ate two yogurts as I put away our groceries. Once upon a time stories and silly poetry proceeded our nap. You woke to find a Kroger associate here. We shared a few items with her. You were pleasant with our visitor as you enjoyed a bowl of ice-cream with sprinkles. She shared her name with you so that you could speak to her by name from now on-----and she compliment your precise memory.
A phone call in to Daddy to see if he was ready to work.....but when he said in a minute he'd be home, you asked, "Daddy, do Mommy & I have time to go swimming for an hour before I work with you?" he laughed and said that sounded perfect. Thus, we headed to the pool for an hour. The water temperature was perfect and sunshine an afternoon treat! As soon as we arrived home and changed, Daddy walked through the back door. As he made a cup a coffee to enjoy, you helped Mommy throw together most of our ingredients for Ginger Snap Cookies----Then, we enjoyed a couple of hours at the shop working on your dollhouse. The heat was on...the first mention of it and Daddy informed us quickly that "Construction was not for whiners!" but he did put a fan on us while we pulled the shingles off your dollhouse roof. We were almost done when we stopped for a Sonic break------another treat! Dr. Pepper for Daddy, raspberry sweet tea for you, and water for me.....Next, I left for flour for our cookies and the two of you piddled around the shop bringing home wire racks for our island (another project for the house), tools, and kitchen gadgets. You were beaming with Daddy-love with each word & step. Your morning words long forgotten. Daddy was full of energy himself whirling through the kitchen making homemade burgers. You focused on making cookies with me (..sneaking in a Gingerbread Baby or too...laughing and telling Mommy that if we peeked at them they'd run away!) long enough for him to finish our burgers. Then, we sat down for dinner together as we watched the Ginger Snap Cookies bake. Ten minutes and decadent cookies exited the oven----a quick clean up after dinner! Four bags of peaches, nectarines, and apples sliced for our week's smoothies------and just slices of family time together! I asked Daddy how he felt this morning. He noted that you don't know how bad those words hurt------I knew they did. I'm afraid that we may not have heard them for the last time because you crave being together. However, I captured them here in our legacy not to remember the pain but to give thanks for our time together. With our hearts and souls, we long to have enough time at the end of the day for one another. Yet, your childlike wonder for life for being with those you love doesn't calculate time....togetherness is the only measure:
It was just yesterday on our way home from Memphis that I had heard K-Love's broadcast that people strive to be happy with more belongings, bigger houses, etc. Yet, the happiest people tend to be those that Exercise,
Help Others, Spend time with friends and loved ones, Give more than
they receive, & Give Thanks---This message resonated with me over and over. It tugged at my heart strings as I recited each trait over and over in my mind. I always try to strive for each one but many days begin and end without enough time for those that I love----especially Daddy. Thus, I knew your words weren't angry words but words of an unfulfilled love tank. Yes! Each moment he spends with you, with us is valuable but as soon as that one is finished, we long for the next moment! There's a book that all of this points back to...Dr. Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages. As you grow, my hope is that you'll read this book and know your love language-------and my prayer is that you'll always be able to articulate your feelings with all of us that love you and that you love so that we can fill your love tank FULL of everything you ever dreamed of having (and as we've learned today------time not things fills your love tank)!
There will be days too that you'll say, "Whatever!?!" Daddy and you played this game tonight in the kitchen as the clock ticked past nine o'clock........but the giggles that erupted were the perfect excuse to let our school night bedtime routine slide just a little!
I love you little one. I can't wait to eat more Ginger Snaps with you tomorrow!
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| Decadent Ginger Snap Cookies from Scratch |
Sunday morning came with little feet hitting the floor, eyes spotting Daddy still at home.....jeans, tee, boots and you were ready to leave with him to go work. Although at Saturday night's dinner we had already discussed that Daddy had something important to do at the port that was too dangerous for you to accompany him with that morning......He had promised that the two of you would work at the shop later in the day. However, Sunday morning there was no coaxing....you grinned and were ready...trying to melt Daddy's heart with your energy, your smile.......but as he tried to explain....you finally let your shoulders slump...I couldn't see them but I heard the words from the morning's dark hallway...."Just leave me alone!" They weren't angry words but sharp, unexpected---slicing.
Since you were little and could speak, I have coaxed you to use your words to explain your feelings. These four little words did just that this morning. You articulated well how you felt. You couldn't tell Daddy how important going to work with him was to you. You couldn't get him to understand that the dangerous port business didn't matter. Time was of the essence. You wanted his attention and time with him NOW. My heart ached. I knew how you felt. I hurt for Daddy too because in essence his work is important in providing for our needs/wants. He wanted to take you with him. Daddy wanted to spend time with you but he was asked to work Sunday morning on a project that had fallen to the wayside when other projects took precedence.
Daddy was able to leave for work as I helped you change into something more fitting for a hot day. You ate breakfast, watched cartoons, and colored. You made Daddy a special picture too carefully writing Daddy and Sophia across the bottom---and DQ at the top as a question if you could go there with Daddy later in the day. After tidying up the kitchen and cleaning floors, the two of us took a trip to Kroger for our family's menu for the week----and for special ingredients for the cookies you requested. You helped Mommy shop and ate two yogurts as I put away our groceries. Once upon a time stories and silly poetry proceeded our nap. You woke to find a Kroger associate here. We shared a few items with her. You were pleasant with our visitor as you enjoyed a bowl of ice-cream with sprinkles. She shared her name with you so that you could speak to her by name from now on-----and she compliment your precise memory.
A phone call in to Daddy to see if he was ready to work.....but when he said in a minute he'd be home, you asked, "Daddy, do Mommy & I have time to go swimming for an hour before I work with you?" he laughed and said that sounded perfect. Thus, we headed to the pool for an hour. The water temperature was perfect and sunshine an afternoon treat! As soon as we arrived home and changed, Daddy walked through the back door. As he made a cup a coffee to enjoy, you helped Mommy throw together most of our ingredients for Ginger Snap Cookies----Then, we enjoyed a couple of hours at the shop working on your dollhouse. The heat was on...the first mention of it and Daddy informed us quickly that "Construction was not for whiners!" but he did put a fan on us while we pulled the shingles off your dollhouse roof. We were almost done when we stopped for a Sonic break------another treat! Dr. Pepper for Daddy, raspberry sweet tea for you, and water for me.....Next, I left for flour for our cookies and the two of you piddled around the shop bringing home wire racks for our island (another project for the house), tools, and kitchen gadgets. You were beaming with Daddy-love with each word & step. Your morning words long forgotten. Daddy was full of energy himself whirling through the kitchen making homemade burgers. You focused on making cookies with me (..sneaking in a Gingerbread Baby or too...laughing and telling Mommy that if we peeked at them they'd run away!) long enough for him to finish our burgers. Then, we sat down for dinner together as we watched the Ginger Snap Cookies bake. Ten minutes and decadent cookies exited the oven----a quick clean up after dinner! Four bags of peaches, nectarines, and apples sliced for our week's smoothies------and just slices of family time together! I asked Daddy how he felt this morning. He noted that you don't know how bad those words hurt------I knew they did. I'm afraid that we may not have heard them for the last time because you crave being together. However, I captured them here in our legacy not to remember the pain but to give thanks for our time together. With our hearts and souls, we long to have enough time at the end of the day for one another. Yet, your childlike wonder for life for being with those you love doesn't calculate time....togetherness is the only measure:
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| Sophia & Daddy removing dollhouse shingles... |
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| Inspecting the Work |
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| Progress was made---ready for a new roof... |
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| I loved that you found a pencil & immediately wanted to write---our little architect! |
There will be days too that you'll say, "Whatever!?!" Daddy and you played this game tonight in the kitchen as the clock ticked past nine o'clock........but the giggles that erupted were the perfect excuse to let our school night bedtime routine slide just a little!
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| Who is in the cookie dough? Never enough patience... |
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| Sophia's Gingerbread Baby Walking...and little fingers always sporting scars of some sort (iron burn & kitty scratch here) |
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