The silence of the night is all but quiet. Fireplace flames are humming and although there's no clock in the living room, I can hear the time ticking faster than I want it to tonight as I upload pictures from my camera to the laptop and try to remember all the little details of our lives to pen for you...for us. You're tucked in bed asleep and Daddy is out running errands for us---filling up the gas with truck (or maybe it's the truck with gas---ha! I had to leave that reversal typed in incorrectly because my mind is truly running away with all the little unexpected moments of joy in our lives), buying kitty litter, etc.
There are dozens of memos (notes to self perhaps) or posts on my Facebook wall reminding me all that has been interwoven in our lives this week---and hundreds of pictures waiting for organization and scribbles of who/what/when to reveal to you/us what that moment captured but all I can think of is that time runs away with the memories! These little moments in our lives collectively are what make the greater picture, the masterpiece: Our Legacy! The pieces of our lives are just the hearts and bananas scattered within each day and the love between each moment makes them all fit perfectly together!
Hearts and bananas!?! That wouldn't make a bit of sense in the world but it makes perfect sense in my world---in our world. My desk is littered with paper scarps day after day. One little girl cutting out hearts to create for Mommy or Daddy. Little green scissors (a Christmas stocking item from 2011 and still a favorite) and plain white copy paper become trials. Efforts of sheer delight as you attempt to cut out the perfect little hearts. You've been know to come to me to say you've tried and need help. Together, we'll cut out paper hearts but these little hearts and bananas were your own creations.
You pulled together a big red envelope and covered it in stickers for Daddy. You filled it with treasures of sorts. I'm not even sure what but yesterday when he arrived home, he asked, "Is this my valentine!?!" And you said, "Yes!" I didn't even hear the rest of the conversation that transpired but I did hear you say, "Hearts and bananas!" Daddy repeated those words and laughed smiling from ear to ear. I found those tiny hearts and bananas next to my keys on the counter but I moved them next to Daddy's keys tonight because I know he loves everything you make for him----and I didn't want to be caught having something that you made for Daddy (and being reprimanded by you)! You always fuss if I have something that was made for Daddy but I have to smile when you say, "Mommy, I'll make you another one. I'm going to give this one to Daddy."
So tonight while I was gathering my thoughts and one last cup of coffee (dcaf) to curl up on the couch, I had a mind full of mishaps that aren't really mishaps but the 'hearts and bananas' of our lives. When you're cutting out hearts---wanting with all your heart---to make the perfect little heart, sometimes you cut out part of a heart but you didn't let those little parts discourage you. You picked them up. You colored them yellow and called them bananas. How creative! How courageous of you! I guess I'm left with another lesson here from you (Yes! You teach me more about life every day!)!!
Hearts and bananas!?! Isn't this what God does!?! He picks up the half hearts--the mishaps, colors them brightly, and makes them whole again! He gives them a name. You named them bananas. He calls them LOVE. Love, you see, little one. It never fails. We don't always understand it or have it give us what we want it to give or need it to give. Love just is---I guess kind of bananas! A little crazy cavity of sorts. I think I'm still sorting it all out.
I read today something that author, Lysa TerKeurst's wrote: Love isn’t what I have the opportunity to get from this world. Love is what I have the opportunity to give. If my only view of love is what it will give me, love from others will fail me every time.
It’s not that love fails. It’s that other people were never meant to be my God. Even a great husband, wonderful children and a thriving ministry can never truly fill me up, right all my wrongs, and soothe my deep insecurities.
"Love is what I have the opportunity to give." Remember that little one. No matter what you cut out or what's cut out for you. Make something of it. Color it the brightest color you can and go forth with it. Name it and give, give, give...
You give us so much to count as joy.....the hearts and bananas of our lives will forever resonate within me. You never cease to amaze me! You wanted to explore making snow angels in the snow face down! Your little nose stuck to the frozen, cold ground....arms and legs moving and delightfully covered in snow from head to toes! Your ways. They are different. You seek to discover. You live in wonder. You embrace all the little hearts and bananas. And if I could write of each one.....I'd tell you all about them but just remember your source of joy comes right where you are right now. Give thanks to our God above for the wonder of it all-----even when the questions envelop you or the naysayers surround you. Stick your nose to the ground and walk in faith. You are covered in HIS grace!
I love you!
There are dozens of memos (notes to self perhaps) or posts on my Facebook wall reminding me all that has been interwoven in our lives this week---and hundreds of pictures waiting for organization and scribbles of who/what/when to reveal to you/us what that moment captured but all I can think of is that time runs away with the memories! These little moments in our lives collectively are what make the greater picture, the masterpiece: Our Legacy! The pieces of our lives are just the hearts and bananas scattered within each day and the love between each moment makes them all fit perfectly together!
Hearts and bananas!?! That wouldn't make a bit of sense in the world but it makes perfect sense in my world---in our world. My desk is littered with paper scarps day after day. One little girl cutting out hearts to create for Mommy or Daddy. Little green scissors (a Christmas stocking item from 2011 and still a favorite) and plain white copy paper become trials. Efforts of sheer delight as you attempt to cut out the perfect little hearts. You've been know to come to me to say you've tried and need help. Together, we'll cut out paper hearts but these little hearts and bananas were your own creations.
 |
| Remnants of your handiwork each night wait discovery! |
So tonight while I was gathering my thoughts and one last cup of coffee (dcaf) to curl up on the couch, I had a mind full of mishaps that aren't really mishaps but the 'hearts and bananas' of our lives. When you're cutting out hearts---wanting with all your heart---to make the perfect little heart, sometimes you cut out part of a heart but you didn't let those little parts discourage you. You picked them up. You colored them yellow and called them bananas. How creative! How courageous of you! I guess I'm left with another lesson here from you (Yes! You teach me more about life every day!)!!
Hearts and bananas!?! Isn't this what God does!?! He picks up the half hearts--the mishaps, colors them brightly, and makes them whole again! He gives them a name. You named them bananas. He calls them LOVE. Love, you see, little one. It never fails. We don't always understand it or have it give us what we want it to give or need it to give. Love just is---I guess kind of bananas! A little crazy cavity of sorts. I think I'm still sorting it all out.
I read today something that author, Lysa TerKeurst's wrote: Love isn’t what I have the opportunity to get from this world. Love is what I have the opportunity to give. If my only view of love is what it will give me, love from others will fail me every time.
It’s not that love fails. It’s that other people were never meant to be my God. Even a great husband, wonderful children and a thriving ministry can never truly fill me up, right all my wrongs, and soothe my deep insecurities.
"Love is what I have the opportunity to give." Remember that little one. No matter what you cut out or what's cut out for you. Make something of it. Color it the brightest color you can and go forth with it. Name it and give, give, give...
 |
| Hearts & Bananas full of LOVE! |
You give us so much to count as joy.....the hearts and bananas of our lives will forever resonate within me. You never cease to amaze me! You wanted to explore making snow angels in the snow face down! Your little nose stuck to the frozen, cold ground....arms and legs moving and delightfully covered in snow from head to toes! Your ways. They are different. You seek to discover. You live in wonder. You embrace all the little hearts and bananas. And if I could write of each one.....I'd tell you all about them but just remember your source of joy comes right where you are right now. Give thanks to our God above for the wonder of it all-----even when the questions envelop you or the naysayers surround you. Stick your nose to the ground and walk in faith. You are covered in HIS grace!
 |
| Simply, YOU...So Sophia! |
I love you!
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