Lulu was your favorite kitten from Princess Girl's second litter of kittens that we were able to enjoy. She was born during our spring visit to Atlanta in March but as soon as we arrived home you, Sophia, gravitated to the little gray kitten that had stripes like her Mommy.
We named her Lulu and called her "louloudaki" (little flower) in Greek when we played with her! You carried her around like a little baby and tucked her in your bicycle basket. Lulu would sneak indoors to find you. She'd gobble up fine cheeses that you fed her and she'd let us rub her belly until she was fast asleep.
Lulu loved to play with her little sisters, the rest of the kitten litter! However, each of them---Ariel, Carrot, and Boots found a new home. Lulu was sought after by many but the lady that said she'd come after her didn't. We counted our joy and played with her one more day---one more time while we were outside. We'd make time to watch Lulu. You video taped her pouncing Hosta plants! And tonight you watched her climb up the tree mimicking her Mommy cat but she went a little too far up! She tried and tried to climb down but only ventured farther up. Daddy and you propped a ladder against the tree. Headlights on, you spotted those little eyes. You heard her cry. Daddy tried to climb the tree to get to her but before he could reach her, she fell. "Mommy, I saw her walk," you said to me tonight but when you ran after Lulu when she fell, you ran back to me and said, "Mommy, I hope she's okay. I hope she didn't die." I could only hold you as I held my breath that Daddy would make it down. Your tears streamed down your little cheeks. Over and over you repeated that you'd miss your little kitty---that she was the sweetest, little kitty ever! "I didn't want her to die, Mommy!" I tried to find the words to comfort you as I held you. WE never want our little loves to die. Our gifts in this life, we want to hold close. We want to pause time and savor the sweetness just like when you held Lulu as Mommy clipped your nails tonight. We had to take care of 'business'---clipping nails but you wanted that moment not to be busy doing what we had to do but doing what you loved---holding, loving that little kitty. Unfortunately, we can't make 'important' tasks in our lives disappear. We have to tend to the business of life and in the midst of it find time to love and savor those we love including little kittens. My heart sank when Daddy made it out of the tree and pronounced Lulu gone as you asked Daddy, "Are you going to have to go to the funeral home?" Your little mind remembering, retracing the events of death of dear friends last fall/winter. The parts of life we again can't brush aside. Daddy dug a hole in the back yard for Lulu as I held you. You wept for that little kitty. We tried to comfort you in letting you know that she was in heaven with another little girl having fun pouncing around and cat napping. I know you'll miss her like crazy because the tears continued until bedtime. We found a little peace in bed as we listened to the new music released today by your favorite band, Crowder.....Earth has no sorrow that Heaven can't heal....all who are broken lift up your face...lay down your hurt...lay down your heart.
I know as Mom, I'm not ready to face these hard joys with you. I don't have the answers to give you. I may not even adequetly know how to comfort you. I can only hold you and share with you what I know...that God has a plan for our lives. He gave us Lulu for only a short time. And just when we thought she'd have a new home and your heart was at peace with that since we wouldn't be here to love on her and care for her all summer---she was left to be our little kitten...to enjoy until she climbed up that tree a little too high. You put your hands on your hips and stated, "You better come down right now!" Although, I would have loved to see the delight and the stories that followed if she had obeyed....I must say that tonight's circumstances once again leave me with more questions than answers but I know where my eyes shall avert and where I must lead your heart to trust.
In HIM alone.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer. 29:11
Our pain is HIS...our life HIS...our time together a gift. Live fiercely with fervent love as you do my little one and He will direct your paths.
Lulu is in heaven tonight looking down on you sleeping. I don't know the sequence of events or questions that will transpire tomorrow but I'll comfort and hold you. We'll mourn your little kitty together but not without counting all the moments of joy she left us with by having had her in our lives!
I love you little one! Your pain is my pain. If I could shield you from all the hurts in this world, I would but I'm just Mommy---and humbled to know that you trust my guideance and that God has entrusted your care to me. "Okay, Mommy!" I heard it over and over tonight as you soaked in the comfort of my arms.
Unexpected moments of joy.....hard euftharistos....
XOXOXO
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| Sophia's favorite little kitty, Lulu |
We named her Lulu and called her "louloudaki" (little flower) in Greek when we played with her! You carried her around like a little baby and tucked her in your bicycle basket. Lulu would sneak indoors to find you. She'd gobble up fine cheeses that you fed her and she'd let us rub her belly until she was fast asleep.
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| Love at first sight: Sophia & Lulu |
Lulu loved to play with her little sisters, the rest of the kitten litter! However, each of them---Ariel, Carrot, and Boots found a new home. Lulu was sought after by many but the lady that said she'd come after her didn't. We counted our joy and played with her one more day---one more time while we were outside. We'd make time to watch Lulu. You video taped her pouncing Hosta plants! And tonight you watched her climb up the tree mimicking her Mommy cat but she went a little too far up! She tried and tried to climb down but only ventured farther up. Daddy and you propped a ladder against the tree. Headlights on, you spotted those little eyes. You heard her cry. Daddy tried to climb the tree to get to her but before he could reach her, she fell. "Mommy, I saw her walk," you said to me tonight but when you ran after Lulu when she fell, you ran back to me and said, "Mommy, I hope she's okay. I hope she didn't die." I could only hold you as I held my breath that Daddy would make it down. Your tears streamed down your little cheeks. Over and over you repeated that you'd miss your little kitty---that she was the sweetest, little kitty ever! "I didn't want her to die, Mommy!" I tried to find the words to comfort you as I held you. WE never want our little loves to die. Our gifts in this life, we want to hold close. We want to pause time and savor the sweetness just like when you held Lulu as Mommy clipped your nails tonight. We had to take care of 'business'---clipping nails but you wanted that moment not to be busy doing what we had to do but doing what you loved---holding, loving that little kitty. Unfortunately, we can't make 'important' tasks in our lives disappear. We have to tend to the business of life and in the midst of it find time to love and savor those we love including little kittens. My heart sank when Daddy made it out of the tree and pronounced Lulu gone as you asked Daddy, "Are you going to have to go to the funeral home?" Your little mind remembering, retracing the events of death of dear friends last fall/winter. The parts of life we again can't brush aside. Daddy dug a hole in the back yard for Lulu as I held you. You wept for that little kitty. We tried to comfort you in letting you know that she was in heaven with another little girl having fun pouncing around and cat napping. I know you'll miss her like crazy because the tears continued until bedtime. We found a little peace in bed as we listened to the new music released today by your favorite band, Crowder.....Earth has no sorrow that Heaven can't heal....all who are broken lift up your face...lay down your hurt...lay down your heart.
 |
| Lulu riding with you on your bike! |
In HIM alone.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer. 29:11
Our pain is HIS...our life HIS...our time together a gift. Live fiercely with fervent love as you do my little one and He will direct your paths.
 |
| Lulu playing in the Hosta plants. |
I love you little one! Your pain is my pain. If I could shield you from all the hurts in this world, I would but I'm just Mommy---and humbled to know that you trust my guideance and that God has entrusted your care to me. "Okay, Mommy!" I heard it over and over tonight as you soaked in the comfort of my arms.
Unexpected moments of joy.....hard euftharistos....
XOXOXO
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