"You Can Pray"

The last week has been filled with many different activities from field day at preschool to doctor's appointments with Dr. P to Mother's Day to shopping for your music recital and more..........one or more activities filled our days just as snapshots filled Mommy's cameras....and a surprise visit midweek....so much to reflect upon and jot down memories from a week that's gone from our lives......yet it was one week that was filled with many unexpected moments of joy! Today was just as busy as I woke you from a deep morning sleep..........you were not quite awake as we scampered out the backdoor into the truck for our morning Thursday routine to preschool. We presented Mrs. Becky & Mrs. Donna with miracle grow for their spring & summer blooms and homemade strawberry cupcakes to enjoy on the next to the last day of preschool! You were eager to play and be a part of the preschool class but you kept your arms linked around my neck asking for one more hug, one more kiss........one more hug.........one more kiss........hug...and another hug! I shouldn't ever tire of these hugs around my neck but 36 lbs hanging on my neck can be a little strenuous! So I scooted you further into the classroom and took off for a morning walk.........It was a short walk this morning as I cleared my head and prepared for our day.........your end of the year preschool party & our trip to Memphis to see Dr. T, your ENT specialist who performed your ear tube surgery in December 2011. 

Mommy's Little Brave Princess

After three visits to see your pediatrician in Dyersburg---and twenty days of antibiotics, Dr. P recommended we go see Dr. T regarding your swollen lymph nodes. She scheduled a lymphadenopathy and we were scheduled for this appointment the same week we saw Dr. P-------this week! Dr. T felt of your lymph nodes in your neck and found more lumps in the back of your neck and in your armpits. He recommended blood work in the UT Medical Lab for various tests and to see a visual of your white blood cells. All of this information swirled in my head as he added that we were to take more antibiotics that he would call in for us------for you (but you see Mommy is with you through each step)! He also asked me if I really knew who he was!?! I was a little dumbfounded not knowing what to think but he showed me his tag and said that he was head of Pediatric Otolaryngology at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital in Memphis. Our appointment continued.......Dr. T said that he was okay with us taking our summer vacation to Greece, the nurse prepped our paperwork for the lab while we had you fitted with ear plugs for summer water play! Next, we headed to the lab! Mommy let you have a Coke as I bribed you with candy if you didn't cry in labs (see Daddy always held you for shots and blood work but he was busy working)! I'm not as brave with needles and medical work as you! When the secretary called us in to the lab, you sat in Mommy's lap and sang, "If you're Happy and YOU Know it........and you added in your own verses...." I can't even remember one verse right now! You were amazing. You sang and made the secretary/nurse laugh out loud..........and when the nurse told you what she would do with each step, you sat in the chair like a "big girl" and watched her take four vials of blood out of your left arm! The nurse told you that you could hold Mommy's hand with your right hand. I held it tight....a few times, I looked down and it was red.......thinking I was cutting off your circulation, I would loosen my grip and rub your little hand! But....Not one tear. Not one ouch from you! I am super, super proud of you! Needless to say, Mommy let you eat candy all the way to the mall and through the mall (We'll worry about the dentist tomorrow!)--------and you rode the magical Carousal on a pony you named HEARTS--------and you requested to jump on the spider bungy ropes! You soared through the air as carefree and full of delight! Oh! How you embrace life! I love it. You fill the room with joy and Mommy's heart is left pumping for oxygen to take in one more moment with you! At Ann Taylor, you tried on florescent clothing and asked for customers' feedback on your attire!?! At the Disney Store, we managed to get out with only two little tears..........before the escalator enveloped your attention! At Dillard's, the Lancome & Estee Lauder ladies let you try on perfume, eyeshadow, & lipstick! The jeweleries laughed when you asked for a brochure! You chased Mommy with it and said, "I'm going to Whack You!" At Coach, the saleslady showed you a hot pink sling bag and you were hooked........I had to count to three to coax you to give it back! And then our drive home...........we stopped at Starbucks for milk for you and coffee for me........I laughed out loud with you over silly things you said or did on the way home! You sang your songs and played with your end of the school year trinkets from your bucket! You held your baby as she wore your purple lei that you pretended was a necklace with a purple diamond on it-----the baby we rescued from the salon this morning after preschool! You had Daddy looking everywhere for it last night! When we found her this morning, you cradled her and said, "We looked everywhere for you.........in the playroom.......I missed you so much! I love you!" All of these little moments of unexpected moments of joy with you ran through my head as we drove....and drove back home.........the place where when you walk in everything is supposed to be perfect.........a place of comfort, a place of rest............but is it? My heart was heavy with worry too as we drove. I couldn't shake those what if questions? What is it? The why? The what is keeping your lymph nodes swollen............and the nurses last words......She'll take the first antibiotic three times a day for 30 days.........and then a second one..........in two weeks, the blood work will come back.........So as your Mommy that loves you more than life itself-------the Mommy that watches you fill each day to capacity with love, tenacity and wonder questioned silently, "What do I do in the meantime?" And the church sign on the way home spelled it out for me as I read, "You CAN Pray!"